For Families
Love is the extremely difficult realization that someone other than oneself is real.
-Iris Murdoch

Couples:

In my work with couples I strive to create a safe space for emotion and genuine communication. As I get to know you, both as individuals and as a couple, we will begin to identify the cycle of conflict in your relationship and start seeing how that cycle impacts feelings of closeness and connection. We will start practicing ways to step out of conflict and ways to make it safe for each other to share authentic feelings and thoughts. We will practice ways to stay connected even when expressing anger, hurt, disappointment, disagreement or frustration. We will work to access the primary feelings below anger and deeper than logic that let you experience and share how much you impact and care for one another. As you begin to know your own and your partner’s emotional triggers you will learn how to keep them from turning into disconnection. As you both identify and step out of the cycle of conflict you will start to rebuild trust and intimacy within the relationship. As therapy is more successful when people experience new ways of interacting while in session, I will work with you to comfortably try out and get the feel of new skills. I will hold space for your hopes and fears to be opened and explored.

I am in the process of being certified in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, a model created by Dr Sue Johnson. You can read more about her work here and a brief review of research outcomes here. This model will guide my work with you, giving us a successful map for reigniting connection and building trust and safety for renewed intimacy.

Families:

Adolescence is a period of great growth emotionally, physically, and intellectually. It is also a period of rapid change for the rest of the family. The children you were close to a few years ago may now barely say a few words in passing. They might be acting in ways that concern you or go against the family’s values and expectations. All family members are often unsure how to react and respond when perspectives seem so different and emotions are strong. Relationships with an adolescent must shift both to stay connected and to give space.

Together we will work to identify patterns of interaction and styles of communication that are obstacles to closer, more genuine relationships. We will explore developmental norms and realistic ways to manage expectations as youth move from childhood through adolescence to young adulthood. We will determine ways to focus our efforts on the most important values your family has identified.

When working individually with youth, I strive to create a place where youth can be honest about their experiences and perspectives, talk through choices and examine their behaviors without judgment. I make a commitment to giving honest feedback and expressing concerns as they arise. I believe the most important characteristic in choosing a counselor for a youth is the youth’s own comfort and genuine feelings of rapport with the counselor.

In my work with families, I work from a strength based, family systems framework with a focus on attachment and narrative theories. My work with families focuses on youth ages 13 to adulthood. I also work with families where all members are adults.